The other day I was at the park with some neighbors and their kids. Since I’m new to the area, I’m getting to know these awesome moms! So in getting to know me, one of them asked me, do you work or do you stay at home? I always seem to find myself hesitating when I answer this question and found myself saying, “Oh I just stay home.” Don’t get me wrong, I’m proud to be a mom and proud to be able to stay at home with my daughter. But I feel in the world we live in, it’s looked down on so I find myself trying to come up with an excuse as to why I don’t work.
I think there are two sides to why I think I need to justify why I don’t work. I’m afraid that women who do work will look down on me and think, well I do both, you have it so easy. Or they may want to stay home, but can’t or feel that they can’t and I don’t want to rub it in their face. Not that we can really afford that I stay home because, well, we can’t. But me being at home with the kids is the number one priority for my husband and me. Even if that means having a super tight budget, not being able to buy those cute colored jeans I keep seeing, not going to the theater to see the Avengers, not eating out at Olive Garden, and eating hamburgers and spaghetti every other week to save money on the grocery bill.
And sometimes I even find myself torn. Shouldn’t I be contributing to the finances? I’m perfectly capable. I have a Bachelor’s Degree and have always thought I would make a great business woman and that I had potential in the working world. But I really don’t want to spend time away from my daughters. So it’s worth the sacrifice to me to be the one to raise my kids and live a more frugal life. I still have dreams of starting an etsy shop and freelance writing for magazines and writing a children’s book. And maybe someday I will, but for now I don’t have tons of time with our baby being born…TOMORROW!…meaning I’ll have a 16 month old and a newborn in about 24 hours. And they are my biggest priority now and always.
I’m definitely not one of those moms who focuses only on their children and practically suffocates them. I like to do what I like to do too and involve my daughter – to whatever point is possible. That has become a little easier as she’s gotten older and I’m assuming it will be even more fun as she continues to learn and grow.
I’ve read a lot of things recently about women trying and wanting to “have it all.” Meaning being able to be a mom and have an excellent career. But I don’t know why having it all has to include a career. I totally understand the desire to be successful, but isn’t it interesting that most women have a desire to be a mom? That we have this natural pull deep inside us to have children and have a loving family. I think having it all is having a husband who loves me and good, respectful, intelligent, fun children. And sure that can include my hobbies and things I like to do and maybe even a way to make a small income on the side by doing those hobbies. But I never ventured into the business world or the teaching world (which is what I got my degree in) and honestly, I have no regrets. I have it all, right here, in my little 960 square foot apartment on our little budget, with my amazing husband, and two beautiful little girls just being a mom.